January 13, 2015

January 13 - A To-Live-By List to Live With

Different from want-to-do and want-to-have lists, a To-Live-By list keeps track of things that cost no money but can endow true happiness. It is a list of Christlike attributes we desire to attain and live by in pursuit of becoming our best.

Do you want to become more faithful, humble, or compassionate? More honest, charitable, or loving? Having spent too much time mired in controversy, do you seek to become a peacemaker?

The inside front cover of your journal is a great place to record the Christlike attributes you desire to attain.

My To-Live-By list includes "forgiving," "patient," and "peacemaker."

What's on your list?

January 12 - Guilt-Free Journaling

Lengthy personal epistles aren't requisite to keeping a personal journal.

You can record idea and tips, quotes, summaries of stories that have touched your heart -- or even one word!

Singularly the words hurt, afraid, alone, sorrow, and stress bear deep meaning, as do the words love, courage, smile, hope, and faith.

Or try joy journaling: one-sentences slices of life that, like treasured photos, capture moments of splendor and bliss.

January 11 - Infinite Possiblities

My friend and I had known each other for decades.

But when my friend began making decisions that
were in direct opposition to what I knew to be right and true, 
I had to distance myself.

Making decisions about our own lives can be challenging.
Often we must weigh what spirit and heart tell us against
fear of being judged by others who don't have all the facts.

Making decisions about how to react to 
the decisions of those we know can 
set us up for harsh criticism.

So it was in the case of my friend.

Though my friend's decisions were morally, ethically,
and legally incorrect when I distanced myself I was condemned.

I didn't feel it was my place to broadcast my friend's errors and shortcomings. 

Those who had the authority to help were already aware of the situation. 

I didn't want to feed the gossip mill.

Because of my refusal to tell all to everyone who was curious,
my removing myself from my friend's life and the
situations my friend's decisions had created
was judged as an act of coldness.  

But I kept my integrity.

And my relationship with God. 

Both which were of far more value than
the opinion of those who judged me. 

In addition to the judgments of others, this life brings comparison of 
physical appearances, material possessions, and skills. 

We can feel ostracized and alone. 

We can fall into the habit of masking pain with pursuits and possessions,
hiding what we fear is our inferiority. 

But God knows our hearts.

When we act in accordance with what we know for ourselves is right and true,
rather than in accordance with fear of being judged or compared,
He will help us refine the talents, abilities, and 
strengths that are unique to us as individuals

January 5, 2015

January 5 - Seeking and Discerning Answers to Prayer

In the poem "Lord, We Know That Thou Art Near,"
 English poetess Jane Fox Crewdson (1808-1863) wrote about unanswered prayers:

Many, many times I've commiserated over what I thought were unanswered prayers.

I wondered why God didn't realize how much I needed help.

Over time I discovered, however, that there was something more important
than Him supplying me with what I wanted when I wanted it:
the potential He provided me.

My struggles with faith and circumstance helped me to learn and grow.

Just because we don't readily obtain answers doesn't mean God has abandoned us. 

He is able to clearly ascertain what we require in order to help us 
cultivate resolve and strength of character and integrity, 
a belief in our own abilities that will help us be the best we can be.

He allows us the privilege of problem solving.

As Jane wrote:

"Weaving blessings out of trials . . . answering prayer by wise denials."

January 2, 2015

January 2 - Seek to Know God

The scriptures affirm that if we seek God, He will be found.

Daily time spent searching is essential.

Prayer is our side of a communication equation
that enables us to stay in contact with Him 
and receive guidance and direction. 

This month is characterized by new beginnings.

Begin life anew by seeking to learn about God.

January 1, 2015

January 1 - Truth and Being Whole

Her words stung. So did the looks she gave me.

Standing next to me in front of the full-length mirror on the wall, she stared from my reflection to my body. I'd wandered into her room to get a glimpse of an outfit I'd put on. Did it make me look good enough to go out in public? It often took me many tries with many changes of clothing to feel I was worthy enough to be a part of the outside world. Even then I frequently fled back into the house to hide in the basement, cry, and lament my unworthiness. Teenage angst over my appearance was hard enough. Daily doses of outright cruelty were another, more sinister, component of my life that made coping almost insurmountable. 

Eyeing me up and down from head to toe and back again, with a shrug of her shoulders she issued her judgment: my legs were okay. After countless edicts over many years -- her blade-sharp opinions on my appearance and intellect -- I actually felt a trickle of gratitude. At least she thought there was one small thing right about me. 

Here usual pronouncements were scathing: I was too ugly, too stupid, too worthless to matter to her -- to anyone. Commonly, she asserted, I should never even have been born. She made plain I would never be beautiful like others in the family. Never. That she thought my legs were okay -- not too offensively fat or ugly -- was a relief.

Now, in my adult life, I've tried and tried to remember something -- anything -- else that female member of my family said that was positive about my body. I don't remember anything besides what she said that day. That one single day. That one single comment made when we were alone. 

My legs were okay. 

The rest, the public persona she carefully maintained, doesn't count to me. Doesn't count to my heart, to my soul, to basic common sense, and to my belief of that which is right and good and true. How can you profess out loud to others that you love a child, and openly praise them in public, but then minutes later -- when you're all alone with that child and no one else is around to hear your words --
cynically berate them for their worthlessness and yet still expect to be believed? 
What is truth?

To me it is this: those we love, those who should love us, and those we barely know or don't know at all can use their words and actions to cut us to the core. They don't have to have complete disdain or hatred for us to do irreparable damage to our emotions -- but only if we allow them to. You see bullies -- whether it be someone who calls names, tells lies, makes cruel judgments or pronouncements about our worth -- are just cowards with an attitude. They are so afraid of their own deficits or perceived failures, so totally unable to deal with the idea that others might judge and condemn them, that they are compelled to shift attention away from themselves. Shift blame and guilt and shame onto someone else and attempt to make them out to be so horrid they themselves don't have to suffer any scorn for how worthless they feel they really are. 

Over decades, I came to resent the woman who tormented me with her own demons during my growing up years. I wanted to hate her, I really did. But I couldn't. Because there's another precious truth I learned: just like circumstances -- illness, death, poverty, or fear and heartache of any kind -- mean people can either make us or break us. Our hearts can turn cold. We can choose to abandon hope. Choose for ourselves become bullies. Or . . . we can learn what we're really made of. Learn what kind of people we truly want to be.

Every January 1 as I look toward goals I want to pursue for the year, I think of being whole. Having known what it is to allow myself to be fragmented into shards by the words and actions of others, being whole is always my most important aspiration. I refocus and remember whose I really am. Who truly knows my heart. Who has my best interests in mind in His plans for me. Who loves me whether my legs or any part of my body is, by mere mortal standards, okay or not. 


We can know Him if we try. We can know of His love for us. Though our mortal minds and emotions may be fragmented, only He can make us whole. 

Whether we are seeking for the first time to feel confirmation of our divine identity or if our knowledge of our eternal nature has somehow been weakened or lost, we can determine today to take whatever time necessary to know the truth. To know truth of His existence -- and to know the truth of our real worth. No matter our circumstances, we can receive, or have strengthened, a sure testimony that we are God's own beloved and cherished spiritual offspring. 

If, like I have, you consider yourself to somehow be less than others or an outsider, earnestly seek to discover God's plan, purpose, and love for you.

Not discerning for a certainly your divine identity and role is, in itself, a choice. 

This year -- today -- choose to become acquainted with your true potential. God wants to you to be whole; to know and feel your worth. To know and feel peace and the power of His love. 

I won't lie to you.

It takes work to know God. 

But you can. And you can be whole. He will help you.

I promise. 

December 19, 2014

2-Minute Interview with Author Haley Hatch Freeman

Haley Hatch Freeman

Meet author Haley Hatch Freeman! 

Haley, who are you as a person versus an author?

One in the same, I say this because my writings thus far have been either my true story or have had great purpose, truth and personal meaning behind them.  

What genre(s) do you write in?

The two books I’ve written are from different genres. My first is my true story about surviving anorexia and experiencing miracles along the way. My second book is a children’s book to help elementary aged children to tweens start to build a healthy body image and to empower them when dealing with life’s unavoidable situations regarding food, self-worth and pressures to look a certain way.

Where do you write your best stuff, and when?

I like to write at home, usually when my children are at school or after they have gone to bed.

Vanilla or chocolate?


What is your preferred manner of writing?

Writing on my laptop.

What is your current book?

From Head to Tummy: The Simple Truth about Food, Media Messages, Self-worth, and Real Beauty. I am working on a second edition of A Future for Tomorrow. I’m adding a couple of chapters and making a few tweaks to the first edition. I’m hoping to have the second edition ready for release by the first of next year.

One piece of advice/wisdom for the world?

My wish is that we, especially as women, would be kinder to ourselves. I think if we each decided to accept and be kinder to ourselves and not as hard on ourselves that would translate to nicer behavior to others and create a massive wave of kindness everywhere. 

Dogs or cats?

Dogs, I have two and I love the little critters!  I usually have one on my lap while I’m writing.

What do you want to be remembered for, or as?

I hope I’m remembered for changing people’s lives for the better and maybe even saving some lives with my story.  

December 15, 2014

Nope. Can't. Maybe next time: The art of graciously saying 'no'

Can't face baking one more thing or buying one more gift? If you find your stress level skyrocketing as the holidays approach, it's okay to say "no" when you feel you can't handle anymore. 

Really, it is!

Yes, it's great to give during this wonderful holiday season. But there's a fine line between the "joy of giving" and "the stress of feeling obligated." The latter robs you of peace of mind -- feeling stressed and edgy is not what the true meaning of the season is all about. 

In my latest article for Family Share I tell how to make saying "no" easy -- and how to ditch the guilt of declining requests from others. 

December 2, 2014

A Christmas Planner!

"As we do the hard work of time management, we come to understand that we cannot do everything that we want to do . . . we must learn to make wise choices." ~ Marilyn Paul

The holidays are upon us!

Rush here. Rush there. Food to cook. Food to eat. Don't forget the lights. The cards. The candles. Clean the house. The list seems to stretch on and on.

But where to start when to-dos and obligations begin falling like snow and accumulating faster than you can shovel a clear path?

A Christmas planner!

Use a calender page, or print a calender from the Internet, and tape it to the inside front cover of a spiral notebook.

Opposite the calendar on the first pages of the notebook, list and prioritize want-tos, need-tos, and feel-pressure-if-you-dont's. Color code your activities to provide a quick visual assessment. Use red for activities that make you feel stress or pressure. If many reds begin to appear, reassess your schedule and objectives and shoot for balance in how you'd truly like to celebrate the season.

Create basic sections for your planner based on your needs: budget, gift and food shopping lists, card recipient list, etc. Cut a sticky note into strips; use the strips as tab dividers at the front of each section..

Don't let yourself feel pressured into deviating from your schedule. Plan ahead and leave days open with unscheduled time slots when you can complete forgotten shopping or attend to other details. If something doesn't come up to fill those days, enjoy the time off!

Make your Christmas planner spunky and fun. Decorate it with a few paper cuts or some spritzy white glitter. To get you started, we've got a free printable! You can get more digital Christmas clip art for all your projects here on Etsy.

November 7, 2014

. . . and an Angel with Cowboy Boots . . . and Lots of Kindness!

Angels . . .

After Nicole's passing last week, I started thinking about my friend Stacey. Stacey battled leukemia for several years before dying in 2007. I spent a lot of time with her during her final days. At that time, I gave much thought to her example of courage and strength. I saw her as an angel on earth -- someone who taught me great lessons about life and living.

I drew a Stacey Angel.

A few days later, when Stacey died, I drew two more angels to make a set of three: Faith, Hope, and Charity. By the following year, I'd written a book based on my experiences drawing those angels. And about my Grandma Esther who died Christmas Day 2006 -- and my grandfather who followed her only five days later.

The booklet was titled Three Angels For Christmas (now out of print).

Two days ago, thinking of heroes like Nicole, Stacey, and my grandparents, I decided to draw a few more angels. Christmas ornament angels. And I've made a lofty goal (just now) of drawing one a day until Christmas.

And I've decided to put them in my Etsy shop for a limited time for those who want to remember their heroes this Christmas...

Simple Things